This is sort of a crazy, catch-up post as I haven't posted in some days and a lot has happened in the meantime.

First, the fannish things, because they are more easily discussed:

WARNING: Spoilers behind every cut, including those for the movie Deception, Supernatural episodes 3x13 and 3x14, NCIS Season 5, and all of Torchwood.

1) My dearest Ewan.

Ewan McGregor. One of my truest loves. I maintain that I would listen to the man reading a grocery list - even pay to do so if the opportunity arose - and I have watched him portray everything from a trombone-playing plant worker to an indecently exposed rock star with a cocaine habit and too much eyeliner.



All that being said, I saw his latest film this weeked - Deception - and I enjoyed it as much as I'd expect, seeing as he's in it :) At least, I enjoyed it for the EtE factor (Exposure to Ewan). But as for the storyline... While it had its moment, its twists and turns... I was somewhat disappointed by the ending. There were plotholes preceding. And so much potential for a truly stunning reveal (what was the tennis trophy meant to do, if not set us up for the revealation that there was more to Jonathan than met the eye?) My date thoroughly enjoyed the ending, so perhaps I am being difficult to please. But I would have loved it if Jonathan had smiled cunningly at the end and told Jaimie/Wyatt he'd had his own plan running all along. Also, I like Michelle Williams in this, but I didn't buy the strength of her connection to Jonathon. And Ewan has recently filmed another film with her, which unsettles me for unknown reasons.



2) And how about those Winchester boys?



Speaking of unsettling, I've heard many criticisms of Dean's about-face on the I'm-A-Big-Boy-Who-Has-Moved-On-From-Hero-Worshipping-His-Daddy issue in Long Distance. I agree that it was not fun watching him totally miss the point of Sam's caution - which is that the last guy who'd gotten a ring had ended up as so much blood splatter. But I didn't think Dean's reaction was as over-the-top as some have made it out to be. He was bound to want it to really be John on the other end of the line. So I don't object to his going with that thought. I just wish he wouldn't have leapt on it like a mother bear to the defense of her dead baby cub. Also, Sam was awesome in this episode and as much as I'm a Dean-girl, I didn't like to see anyone - even Dean - giving him shit :p

But on a happier note, I really enjoyed GhostFacers :D It was so much fun, and we need that every now and then. I loved the format and everything. And as cliche as it would be, if they went the Lone Rangers direction with the Ghost Facers and did a spin-off... I would so watch it avidly :D



3) Meanwhile, my NCIS squee...



Meanwhile, I have this to say about NCIS: It is both cruel and kind. I didn't feel that Tony's decision on Jeanne was necessary. Maybe convenient, but not necessary. 'Tell her what she needs to hear,' Ziva said in the last (forever?) Jeanne episode. And is it just me, or wouldn't a woman rather hear that her man loved her but can't be with her than that he'd just been using her all along? I'd pick the loving and not being together any day.

Still, there is Tony totally blowing the chances of McGee being sent to Baghdad out of the water. My head is writing Tony's entirely slashy reasons for doing so as we speak.



4) And then there's Torchwood.



I love it. I love it and I sorta hate myself for letting myself love it because I broke down and read Season 2 spoilers and now I know that my love is star-crossed and futile :( I suppose I could have let myself love it and jumped on the Ianto!Fangirl bandwagon and lived a happy life in Torchwood fandom but no. That was never going to happen. I was always going to pick the favorite who dies just as he gets to being my favorite. Now I'm going to watch the rest of Seasons 1 and 2 just waiting to watch Owen die and vent about it to a lot of Torchwood fans who will be, like, over it already.

I also can't decide if I love the Owen/Gwen... Would love the Owen/Gwen if it hadn't been introduced so early... Would love Owen/Tosh if she'd had a bit more backbone from the start. Or if I would have been dreaming up various slashy crossovers regardless. If I don't write some Owen/Dean soon I'm going to sprain something.



Last, Real Life.



So the biggest event of the past... whenever... has been my grandmother's death. I haven't posted about this before because - you may have realized - I don't do well with the talking about personal stuff. I may vent in detail in one post and not announce another important thing that happens to me in a year :* And my grandmother was very close to me so I haven't quite grasped the reality of the situation. I've decided that losing a major life figure like that - a grandparent, a parent, a spouse - is like losing a limb. Those phantom limb pains you hear about sound suspiciously like knowing that if I were to pick up the phone right now and call my grandmother's number there isn't a thing I could say that she would hear.

Well, the religious will argue that she would (and I will agree)but you see what I'm saying. Throughout the funeral I felt that inability to speak to her like this large, dark wall that had suddenly been erected just outside the field of my vision. And even now I don't like discussing it, but I thought I would - even if only briefly.

Perhaps I'll just stay true to form and icon a whole lot :/ At some point I may even mention "The Dream", which is relevant and probably ridiculous but felt significant to me. So. Yes.

That's it.